Cartel Cats: “Guns Are Cool, Guns Are Fun (But Real Badasses Do Better)”
OPENING SCENE
Animated border town, neon sunset. The Cartel Cats—Felicia (the T-Hugger), Pawloma, Sneezy Kitty, and Llama Kitty—are gathered in a dusty alley. A shiny, oversized cartoon revolver sits on a crate. Cans are lined up on a fence. The “Guns Are Cool, Guns Are Fun” jingle plays in the background, upbeat but with a sly wink.
FELICIA (stepping forward, glasses glinting):
Guns are cool, guns are fun—
If you use them right, no harm is done.
Target practice, poppin’ cans,
Sharpening your focus, steadying your hands.
But here’s the truth, my little kittens:
Anybody can pick up a weapon and end their problems fast—
But that’s just the start, not the end of the past.
You might think you’re a badass,
But real strength isn’t pulling a trigger,
It’s facing your problems, getting bigger and bigger.
PAWLOMA (tossing a can in the air):
You think you’re tough, you want to impress?
Show your parents you’re stronger, cause a little stress?
That’s the first thing they’ll notice—
But what comes next is a lifetime of mess.
SNEEZY KITTY (sniffing, dramatic):
You solve their problems with a gun,
But yours have only just begun.
No matter what happens after they’re gone—
If they walk on, or float to some dawn—
Their problems are over, but you’re left with the weight,
Of choices you made, and the anger you create.
FELICIA (soft but firm):
Guns are fun if you use them correct—
Target practice, taking out aggression on cans,
Even hunting, if you do it with respect.
But don’t go killing animals that barely have any left—
Use your brain, use your heart, don’t be a theft.
LLAMA KITTY (striking a pose):
If you want to be a real badass,
Here’s the secret, here’s the plan:
It’s not about power over someone else—
It’s about controlling yourself, being more than you were.
GROUP CHORUS (dancing with cans and targets):
Guns are cool, guns are fun,
But real badasses don’t need one.
You want respect? You want to win?
Show your strength by holding it in.
FELICIA (closing, direct to camera):
Anybody can pull a trigger—
That’s easy, that’s fast.
But the bravest cats face their problems,
And make their courage last.
So if you want to show you’re stronger than your parents,
Don’t just grab a gun—
Show them you can talk it out, walk it out,
And when you’re really mad,
Go shoot some cans, not your future.
ENDING RAP
Guns are tools, not toys for rage,
Real badasses write their own page.
Respect is earned, not taken by force—
Choose your battles, and stay the course.
[ROLL CREDITS with PSA]
Text on screen:
“Cartel Cats remind you: Respect yourself, respect others, and if you ever feel angry or lost, talk to someone you trust. Being a real badass means making choices you can live with.”
Cartel Cats: “Guns Are Cool, Guns Are Fun (But Real Badasses Do Better)”
OPENING SCENE
Animated border town, neon sunset. The Cartel Cats—Felicia (the T-Hugger), Pawloma, Sneezy Kitty, and Llama Kitty—are gathered in a dusty alley. A shiny, oversized cartoon revolver sits on a crate. Cans are lined up on a fence. The “Guns Are Cool, Guns Are Fun” jingle plays in the background, upbeat but with a sly wink.
FELICIA (stepping forward, glasses glinting):
Guns are cool, guns are fun—
If you use them right, no harm is done.
Target practice, poppin’ cans,
Sharpening your focus, steadying your hands.
But here’s the truth, my little kittens:
Anybody can pick up a weapon and end their problems fast—
But that’s just the start, not the end of the past.
You might think you’re a badass,
But real strength isn’t pulling a trigger,
It’s facing your problems, getting bigger and bigger.
PAWLOMA (tossing a can in the air):
You think you’re tough, you want to impress?
Show your parents you’re stronger, cause a little stress?
That’s the first thing they’ll notice—
But what comes next is a lifetime of mess.
SNEEZY KITTY (sniffing, dramatic):
You solve their problems with a gun,
But yours have only just begun.
No matter what happens after they’re gone—
If they walk on, or float to some dawn—
Their problems are over, but you’re left with the weight,
Of choices you made, and the anger you create.
FELICIA (soft but firm):
Guns are fun if you use them correct—
Target practice, taking out aggression on cans,
Even hunting, if you do it with respect.
But don’t go killing animals that barely have any left—
Use your brain, use your heart, don’t be a theft.
LLAMA KITTY (striking a pose):
If you want to be a real badass,
Here’s the secret, here’s the plan:
It’s not about power over someone else—
It’s about controlling yourself, being more than you were.
GROUP CHORUS (dancing with cans and targets):
Guns are cool, guns are fun,
But real badasses don’t need one.
You want respect? You want to win?
Show your strength by holding it in.
FELICIA (closing, direct to camera):
Anybody can pull a trigger—
That’s easy, that’s fast.
But the bravest cats face their problems,
And make their courage last.
So if you want to show you’re stronger than your parents,
Don’t just grab a gun—
Show them you can talk it out, walk it out,
And when you’re really mad,
Go shoot some cans, not your future.
ENDING RAP
Guns are tools, not toys for rage,
Real badasses write their own page.
Respect is earned, not taken by force—
Choose your battles, and stay the course.
[ROLL CREDITS with PSA]
Text on screen:
“Cartel Cats remind you: Respect yourself, respect others, and if you ever feel angry or lost, talk to someone you trust. Being a real badass means making choices you can live with.”
Find more real talk and laughs from:
Tiffany Jenkins – Juggling the Jenkins
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